Kuno von Knurrenbauch was walking at a quick step, rattling with his armour on the cobbles in the castle in Malbork (called by Teutons - Marienburg). He looked formidably, with blowing white surcoatwith a black cross on it. His page, Jean de Fart, ran behind him, catching his master's armaments in flight.
"Lord, stop for a moment, it'll be easier for me to strip you off your armour," he grunted, doubled up under the weight of an iron glove.
He has already held his master's helmet with long feathers in his arms.
"I can't stop even for a heartbeat! There is a long way to go”, Kuno shouted back.
“My lord, but how do we take off the poleyns and graves during this jogging?” Jean gasped under the weight of the vambraces he had just caught.
"Dammit, I didn't see that coming! I have to stop.”
“It would be nice, just for a minute.”
At that moment, Jean bumped into Kunon's back and dropped the elements of armament held in his arms. They fell to the castle floor with a loud clatter.
"You have your moment," Kuno grunted setting his teeth and despite standing still, kicked his heels.
Jean rushed to free his master from armour as soon as possible.
“Why is it taking so long?!” Kuno shouted at him.
"It would be faster if you hadn't shifted so much, my lord."
“It is impossible. Focus on the elements from the waist down… the ones closer to the waist.” Kuno grunted.
Jean, with some superpower force, probably with the help of the Blessed Virgin Mary, yanked the knight's faulds off.
“Okay, where is the tower?!” Kuno shouted.
„Lord, which tower, there are many towers here?”
“Yeah, the most important one!”
“It's the same.”
“Exactly!” Kunon's face turned pale and red alternately.
“Then you have to get to the porch...”
“Where's that porch?!”
“Oh, then first we have to get to the first floor of the High Castle and take the south-east direction. There we will find the entrance to this porch... but there is nothing to be happy about because the way is far from it, you know, the tower is outside the walls...”
“Couldn’t this tower have been built any further?!” Kuno ran in the shown direction, clattering with pieces of armour that Jean hasn’t taken off from the knight yet.
“Well, as you have rightly pointed out, my lord, it is used for observation and it is an important point of defence...”
"Run faster because this armour is slowing me down too much and make sure no one is watching there right now," Kuno shouted at his page.
"Yes, my lord," Jean quickened his pace, although it was difficult for him to overtake the knight. "What is so interesting to observe that you are so urgent, my lord?"
“Lithuanians may attack.”
“Eh, no, they are now in winter quarters in Trakai.”
“But they could have moved.”
“Other commanderies said nothing about it...”
"A siskin’s nuptial flight!" Kuno bellowed in pain.
“What?” Jean stopped in place.
“Never mind. Forget it,” Kuno grunted, also stopping.
“Holy Mary, what stinks here?” Jean asked.
“Pea soup from a roadside inn. Those mean Prussian might have added some not fresh meat again.”
“Ah, then I understand now why the caparison of your horse, my lord, has such brown stains. And I also understand why the sanitary tower... I mean - the watch tower, is so far outside the walls.”
“Yes, I think that no one could manage to get there with their physiological need. Let me remind, Jean, after I take a bath, to make an appointment with the Grand Quartermaster of the Order to think about solving the problem of having to remove items of equipment quickly.”