From the life of the gods. Stories of the Olympus - episode 6

The party at the Mount Olympus.

     The name day of the Olympus’ master was a great social event in the Olympic spheres. Hera (Zeus's wife) was responsible for all arrangements. She cared for the decor of the palace gardens, every year trying to get original ideas. Dionysus look after drinks and Demeter was responsible for catering. All gods appeared in the house of Zeus. On this day both brothers of Olympus’ master left their kingdoms and came to the name day party in the company of their divine spouses. Distinguished glamor, that's what characterized the events of Zeus. It has already been a tradition. However, this year it has been changed. Offended at her spouse, Hera was preparing a surprise.

     It all started innocently. Dressed in formal clothes, the gods crossed the threshold of the Zeus’s palace, greeted by the master of the house and his wife. Then they usually headed for a garden. And there was their first surprise. Instead of richly set tables, golden fountains from which nectar was poured and putti and cupids bustling around, there was... Well, there was nothing. An empty garden, even without seating. So, the gods stood in their great robes clustered, looking around uncertainly.

"Maybe it's some magic and we just don't see these tables and chairs", Aphrodite suggested uncertainly. “Hera will come, snap fingers and everything will appear”.

"Knowing my mother, she is playing games with us", Hephaestus murmured, smothering a yawning.

At this moment the last guests entered the garden, followed by the hosts.

"My dear, I see you feel surprised", Hera began solemnly.

"Well, kind of", muttered Hades, who didn't like such events and visits to his brother at Olympus.

"That’s the ticket!" the wife of the Olympus’ master clapped her hands. “I decided to surprise you. Our today's ceremony will be created in the likeness of social gatherings organized among social meetings on Earth, concretely from the land they call Poland.

“Should I understand that those from this Poland don't eat or drink anything?” Hades has already been annoyed. “My dear, let me sit down because my legs start hurting.”

"No sooner said that done" and Hera snapped her fingers.

Plastic garden chairs and wobbly deckchairs covered with dirty fabric in stripes or flowers appeared in the beautiful Zeus’s garden.

Hades sat on one of the sun loungers, which made a very embarrassing sound of tearing fabric. The God of the Underworld froze.

"I think I'll stand, thank you" Aphrodite said.

“And I will plonk myself down. I stick all day in the smithy toil and drudgery, so I'm not afraid to get dirty” saying this, Hephaestus sat on a plastic chair, which was slightly shacked.

"You already have places, so now it's time to take care of food and drinks", Hera snapped her fingers.

Before the eyes of the guests appeared strange metal devices, bigger and smaller, some on wheels, others on legs.

“What is that? Athene asked.

"A grill", Hera said calmly.


Hades lifted one of the lids. Pieces of not very appetizing-looking meat lay on the grate.

"It's meat!" Aphrodite shouted in disgust. “I'm a vegetarian!”

“Oh, probably you won't eat today because Poles are not vegetarians” Hera said cheerfully.  “Anyway, the Goddess of Love must watch her waistline and this is a high-calorie diet, so you lose nothing.”

“Is it animal or human meat?” Hades asked matter-of-factly.

“They're mainly cows parts.”

“Oh, easy... but, should I eat it raw?”

“No, the meat is roasted on these grates. They call it "grilling".”

"Sure, give fire... Prometheus, do you have something up your sleeve?" Hades laughed.

"Don't worry, there'll be fire and service soon", Hera snapped her fingers.

Demons appeared quickly, each in a gracious apron with tongs or a turner in its paw. Then each of the monsters belched loudly, throwing sparks and after a while the pieces of charcoal in the grills began to burn.

“My dear sister-in-low, why do you manage my staff? You know that I have a lack of employees. Who is watching over Tartar now?” The God of the Underground got angry.

“My dear, I cannot help that service in heaven knows nothing of fire. Maybe your Tartar won't collapse within a few hours...”

Hades gnashed his teeth.

“Dionysus, give me some wine. The whole barrel now!” he shouted to his nephew.

“It's already done, uncle.”

"Well, at least you didn't take this away from me", Hades turned to Hera.

She smiled sweetly.

Dionysus appeared, assisted by satires, carrying a metal barrel. After a while, a golden, foaming liquid began to pour into a large vessel.

“What is that?” Hades became nervous. “Where is the red Olympic, which I like so much?”

“Uncle, today at Hera's request, instead of wine, we are serving beer.”


“Beer... brew.”

“I want red Olympic!!!” Hades shouted so loudly that all the demons cringed in terror and attempted to crawl under the grills.

“My dear, don't get nervous so much. You need to broaden your horizons. Beer is perfect for the heat, and it's always so hot in your Hades...” Hera interjected.

“Bro, why do you let your wife insult me?! Why aren't you talking anything?” Hades roared to Zeus, who was silent all the time, standing aside.

"Men, my wonderful wife has decided to go beyond norms and conventions, so let's try to appreciate it and have fun after all", Zeus replied in a wooden voice.

“Hady, don't get nervous. Asclepius told you that your blood pressure is too high” Persephone tried to calm her husband by stroking his hand.

“My sister-in low, I will eat this cow but with what?” Poseidon interrupted the conversation.

"My dear brother-in-law, I also took care of that", Hera snapped her fingers.

A small paper tray appeared in the hands of the God of Sea. Poseidon stared at her in astonishment.

“Poles use plastic plates but I remember what you said about littering the seas and oceans, so I used biodegradable material.”

“With what should I eat?”

“With your hands.”


“Unfortunately, cutlery was only plastic so for the sake of the environment, I decided to eliminated them.”

“For Gods’ sake, can this brew make me drunk? I can't stand it!” Hades groaned.

"You can make it, uncle", answered Dionysus. “I mean getting drunk, you can do it, you just have to drink a little more.”

"For what sins..." Hades clutched his head.

"My dear gests, our ceremony would not be complete without proper musical setting" Hera shouted.

"Oh, yes, something soothing please", Apollo said. “My muses will take care of it. They know what I like... what we like...”

"Let's not bother them, let the girls rest", Hera snapped her fingers.

Above the heads of the gods a terrible noise could be heard, a sound as if someone was hammering nails and then roared in a male voice: "I have intellectual surfeit, I want to be ordinary and banal. Something simple I want to tell you. I don't want to be complicated, haunted, fucked up, I want to experience simple states today. Play me Disco Polo, Baby. Play".